Humour

By Richard Blazek Tuesday, July 16, 2002 # Flower : Meaning # $NetBSD: flowers,v 1.2 1997/03/26 06:30:56 mikel Exp $ # @(#)flowers 8.1 (Berkeley) 6/8/93 # # Upside down reverses the meaning. African violet:Such worth is rare. Apple blossom:Preference. Bachelor's button:Celibacy. Bay leaf:I change but in death. Camelia:Reflected loveliness. Chrysanthemum, other color:Slighted love. Chrysanthemum, red:I love. Chrysanthemum, white:Truth. Clover:Be mine. Crocus:Abuse not. Daffodil:Innocence. Forget-me-not:True love. Fuchsia:Fast. Gardenia:Secret, untold love. Honeysuckle:Bonds of love. Ivy:Friendship, fidelity, marriage. Jasmine:Amiablity, transports of joy, sensuality. Leaves (dead):Melancholy. Lilac:Youthful innocence. Lilly of the valley:Return of happiness. Lilly:Purity, sweetness. Magnolia:Dignity, perseverance. Marigold:Jealousy. Mint:Virtue. Orange blossom:Your purity equals your loveliness. Orchid:Beauty, magnificence. Pansy:Thoughts. Peach blossom:I am your captive. Petunia:Your presence soothes me. Poppy:Sleep. Rose, any color:Love. Rose, deep red:Bashful shame. Rose, single, pink:Simplicity. Rose, thornless, any color:Early attachment. Rose, white:I am worthy of you. Rose, yellow:Decrease of love, rise of jealousy. Rosebud, white:Girlhood, and a heart ignorant of love. Rosemary:Rememberance. Sunflower:Haughtiness. Tulip, red:Declaration of love. Tulip, yellow:Hopeless love. Violet, blue:Faithfulness. Violet, white:Modesty. Zinnia:Thoughts of absent friends. Half remembered from Alistair McGowans' Big Impression, BBC1, Friday 10 May 2002 The weather forecast for today It will start off being morning all over the country until lunchtime in the south and dinner in the North. After that we'll have frequent minutes interspersed with a few hours until tea in the south and supper in the north. The long range forecast is for birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, senility and certain death. Spike Milligan Contraception should be used on every conceivable situation The funniest joke in the world (maybe)...(from http://www.laughlab.co.uk ) Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Some time in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth; and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

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